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"The Yanks love snobbery. They really feel they've arrived in England if the upper class treats 'em like shit."

-- Harold Shand (Bob Hoskins)

Prior to watching The Long Good Friday, I thought people were actually taking the piss when they said Bob Hoskins played a gangster in one of the most respectable British crime films ever made. "Not Bob Hoskins who played the overweight plumber Mario in the Super Mario Bros. movie?" I said. Apparently so. Urgh.

Surprisingly, the one-time fat, balding, video game protagonist is really quite impressive in his earlier work here, though. He plays Harold Shand, a notorious London businessman of the criminal underworld, who aspires to go straight in the late-1970s by redeveloping the old docklands property as a venue for the 1988 Olympic Games. He's an aggressive character, but looks after his crew; his speeches about the country's membership with the European Union are fuelled with intelligence and British pride; he is well groomed and has a beautiful wife, so the whole world should respect him. His screen presence is worth the DVD price alone.

What a shame that, other than Hoskins, the film really isn't that compelling. Directed in a similar manner to The Krays, with very little glamour and plenty of gritty, British mannerisms, The Long Good Friday is one of those films that everyone says you'll like, but by the time the end credits roll you're left wondering what all the fuss was about.

When Harold's life is threatened by a series of attacks and bombings, it becomes a mystery to him (and the audience) who is out to get him. We're supposed to be left in suspense, awaiting the next moves of Harold's opponents, while he attempts to figure out exactly who it could be.

Truth be told, I remained patient during these periods of mystery in The Long Good Friday, but when all was revealed at the end I still found myself feeling quite disappointed.

It's definitely worth watching for Hoskins' performance alone, but it's hardly gripping like its reputation has grown to tell. Even the [so-called] famous scene where Harold strings his suspects up in a meat factory promises a fair bit, but doesn't deliver all that much. Disappointing, really.

(C) Andy Carrington, 2009.