Critique: Film> Reviews.

Remember the first live-action Street Fighter film to go down the shit creek back in 1994? Nobody would kung-fu kick you down if you didn't. But after the release of Street Fighter: The Legend Of Chun-Li, it is perhaps worth taking a step back in time and re-evaluating the pretty awful Van Damme version, in a bid to re-define its status as a cult classic. No, I'm not saying that it was misjudged unfairly at the time; rather, that this second live-action attempt is so outrageously bad that it could fool you into thinking Jean Claude Van Damme actually made a decent movie.

So, the mess begins something like this: The recurring antagonist, M. Bison (Neal McDonough), pays a visit to Miss Li's house with his sidekick Balbrog (Michael Clarke Duncan) to beat the crap out of her Father for a couple of minutes, until they eventually decide to take him hostage (this all happens with Chun-Li is still a child). Soon enough, she's gone through puberty and gotten her hands on an ancient scroll, which is ordering her to become a homeless skank on the streets of Bangkok as her first stage of training (apparently, this is the only way she will be reunited with her Father again). She obeys, and goes on a mission to kick some arse.

Chun-Li wouldn't be so bad if it had some entertainment value to hold our attention and get over how ridiculously stupid this story line is, but the action scenes are extremely mediocre. The choreography is sloppy, and the occasional CGI "enhancements" look tacky. Only one particular fight stands out in my mind as being half-decent: A slightly-wet female brawl in the ladies toilets (the only time we get to see the character in her famous blue attire).

My next negative point is about the casting. As hot as Kristin Kreuk is, she looks more European than of Chinese descent (her Father was Dutch; her Mother Chinese, even though she born in Indonesia). Neal McDonough is blonde and looks nothing like M. Bison (I wasn't expecting a reprise of that stupid red pilot outfit, but they could at least have made an effort to create a little bit of resemblance to the video game character). Robin Shou as Gen doesn't look old enough, either; and they've even cast a Black Eyed Peas member as the legendary Vega -- an insult to such an iconic character! Seriously, it's the simple things that the movie makers can't even get right which make you wonder how the hell these people made it into the industry in the first place.

And, still, it gets worse: Chris Klein (American Pie) is absolutely horrid here as Charlie Nash, Guile's old war buddy. He has a tendency to regurgitate every line with a pretentious grin on his face, as if he somehow knows he is the star of this picture. Sorry, pal, but if you can't even impress in this awful film then you don't deserve work from anyone, anymore. Period.

There is such a distinct lack of care in the handling of the Street Fighter franchise with Chun-Li; it's as if the film has been slapped on a dirty plate with a huge dollop of "fuck you" and served to the vulnerable moviegoer, purely to make a quick couple of notes. It really is a huge insult to the intelligence of long-standing and passionate fans of the Street Fighter series and movies in general.

But it's not over yet. Street Fighter 2: The Legend Of Ryu is due sometime in the near future. This, according to Wikipedia, "is rumoured to focus on Ryu". Hmm, it looks like the geniuses behind The Legend Of Chun-Li have been getting their claws into the web's free encyclopaedia as well. What a joke.

(C) Andy Carrington, 2009.