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I've always wondered if the directors actually see the cheese in their movies at the time they are making them. Such a thought could be applied to Raw Deal, which is perhaps a bad remake of the similarly-insane B-movie actioner Commando, which showcases more cheese than on school photography day. So if you hated the latter Schwarzenegger action-fest, you're bound to find this a very painful experience indeed.

The film addresses the dull life of a Sheriff living in rural America, whose wife (Blanche Baker) has been driven to alcohol to find some comfort. When approached by an old friend, Kaminsky (Schwarzenegger) is asked to go undercover to bring down Chicargo's mob bosses in a secret revenge mission. He agrees and gradually works his way up the ranks in bad-man territory, wearing mainly a white tank top and smoking a huge cigar, just because he's that damn cool.

Arnie, unsurprisingly, ends up being an invincible one-man army with an obvious hard-on for making the bad guys suffer with his violent methods. The best action scenes occur at the beginning and the end of the movie. At the beginning, Arnie chases down a villain in his usual casual manner: Cutting off the route, he stops and pours out a line of petrol, then ignites it with his huge cigar, which sends the bad guy flying to a halt (hilarious). Schwarzenegger's minimalist style of no-time-to-talk-I've-gotta-kill-everyone is again seen to full effect towards the climax of the movie, where he mindlessly takes out the entire mob with a variety of devastating firearms, smirking to himself as he does so.

Now, I have no problem at all with Arnold Schwarzenegger killing as many bad guys as he so wishes (in fact, I get off on this a fair bit), and the usual wit that accompanies all the carnage here is noteworthy as some of the best in his career -- lines such as "You should not drink and bake," and "What do I look like? Dirty Harry?" had me in hysterics. The trouble is Raw Deal doesn't know whether it wants to be a serious movie or one where its protagonist blows shit up just for the sake of it.

Truth be told, Raw Deal could've actually been a respectable movie if it had been handled with a little more care. The scenes range from been intriguing, explosive, hilarious, frustrating, and the just plain dull. In amongst the confusion over what it really wants to be, John Irvin's pacing of the film is incredibly uneven and leaves a lot to be desired. For every half-decent action scene the viewer has to sit through four or five scenes involving dull, uninspiring dialogue written for the characters by Gary DeVore and Norman Wexler, which hinders the Arnie fans' lust for mindless action.

What's especially puzzling is the inclusion of a big-breasted blonde (Kathryn Harrold) as an acquaintance to Arnie, whom the big Austrian attempts to work up a romantic relationship with rather than destroy her, sexually, as he would given the opportunity in his other macho flicks. There's also a "serious" scene where Arnold helps his old, crippled friend walk again in physiotherapy, which wouldn't have been anywhere near as laughable had it not been for the action rampage that preceded it. Seriously, Arnold, no offence, I know you mean well, but please get back to degrading your opposites with your over-the-top testosterone-fuelled methods -- I don't wish to watch your films to judge you on your acting ability.

Raw Deal has the usual Arnie moments, but unfortunately there aren't enough of them; sadly, the film lies somewhere between the usual Schwarzenegger-esque style that we've come to expect and the wannabe-seriousness of a mob movie. Raw Deal may still be mildly entertaining in spurts for fans of Arnold and fans of action movies in general, but it's hardly a memorable film, overall.

(C) Andy Carrington, 2008.