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In Kickboxer, Jean Claude Van Damme plays Kurt Sloane, who begins as a corner man for his brother Eric (Dennis Alexio), an American kickboxing champion. When Eric becomes paralysed via a vicious beating in the ring by the Thailand champion Tong Po (Michel Qissi), Kurt vows to avenge his brother and master the art of Muay-Thai for himself.

This is the formula of the entire movie, and is given to the audience within the first ten minutes of its beginning (talk about no nonsense film making). There’s even a token black guy thrown in there to inject further humour into the story.

Admittedly, the script and acting is laughable throughout, which, at times, is even inexcusable given the era. Most of the time I got the impression I was watching a cheap re-hash of Karate Kid and Rocky III all rolled into one.

Don’t expect any plot twists; simply put, Kickboxer is all about the action.

It is when Kurt meets the old Chinese master Xian Chow that things really see what Van Damme is made of: He begins to train, in preparation for the day he will meet Tong Po in the ring. However, noticing that Sloane’s abilities as a fighter are developing rapidly, mobsters threaten his life and force him to fight only under the ancient methods of the sport. These prompt both fighters to wraps their hands in hemp rope, coated with resin, and then dip them into shards of broken glass.
 
What follows is an epic final battle, where Kurt flexes his incredible skill and technique in the face of Tong Po, as he vows for vengeance.

O.K., it’s Van Damme -- hardly mine, if anyone’s, favourite “actor” -- but Kickboxer is at least worth a watch for the sweaty man fights, Van Damme's freakish ability to do the full splits, and his infamous "arse shaking" scene with two filthy Thai females. Just lower your standards, considerably, and you might get some pleasure out of it.

(C) Andy Carrington, 2009.