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Having spent a majority of my adolescent years watching Arnold Schwarzenegger beat the crap out of every living thing on the planet, naturally I became excited about the prospect of him taking on the sworn enemy of mankind, Satan. Ignoring his last [dreadful] performance in Batman & Robin, it had been two years since my last Arnie fix in 1997's Eraser, and five years since he starred in a really good movie (True Lies), and I had an inkling that this movie was going to give his fans something big. I imagined End Of Days providing Arnie with his ultimate battle; that the film would give him the opportunity to kick the devil right in the nuts, shout off a witty remark, and come out smoking a huge cigar at the end of it all. I imagined the Arnie we all know and love was going to be back to his best.

Well, I'll start by saying those reviews of Batman & Robin must've hit Arnie hard. Somewhere in-between that box-office flop ending and End Of Days beginning, it seems as if he decided to get some acting lessons. That's not a compliment to his performance here, though, as he tries so hard to establish an emotional range within his character (ex-cop "Jericho"), but ends up coming across as rather embarrassing. I can't speak for all Arnie's fans, but personally I don't watch his movies for his attempts at acting; I'd much rather see him kick some arse!

End Of Days just isn't an Arnold movie; it's actually a pretty bad movie that the filmmakers want everyone to take seriously. The plot is concerned with the familiar devil-takes-a-bride-whom-will-give-birth-to-the-anti-Christ-and-unleash-hell-upon-earth concept, as seen in such films as Stigmata. This is at least a more interesting movie than the latter, mainly due to Gabriel Byrne's menacing performance as Satan and Robin Tunney being likable enough as the young woman Christine that we actually root for her, but it's still disappointing to watch, overall. Arnold's character is much more vulnerable in his character than usual, mourning the premature death of his wife and kid by drinking regularly in isolation. Screenwriters Armyan Bernstein and Bill Borden force him to dig deep to try and add some emotional depth to his character, rather than allowing him to set free his usual no-nonsense action persona. The film is lacking in the fun department as a result.

There are a couple of decently choreographed action set pieces -- I found the helicopter chase at the beginning and the subway chase towards the end rather enjoyable -- but other than that there's very little memorable material here. End Of Days isn't funny or campy, and even when we do try and take it seriously, we can't help but notice the numerous plot holes that are present (actor Rod Steiger demonstrates that "666" turned upside down is "999"--1999!; and shooting the spirit of Satan numerous times with a machine gun won't kill him, but a sword somehow will).

I know it's not the '80s anymore, and the '90s were rapidly coming to a close by the time this film was released, but End Of Days would've been more of a success if they'd made it more of an action spectacle by letting Arnie do his thing; by contrast, they could've at least cast someone who could act, if they were really determined to make a serious movie. Somewhere in-between, End Of Days is neither overly fun for its camp value, or plausible for its theory; it isn't a horrible film, but it's hardly one that you'll want to shout about with great urgency to the nearest bystander.

(C) Andy Carrington, 2010.