.co.uk

I remember Stallone saying to the press prior to the release of Assassins in cinemas that this was the best film he had made since Rocky. Been the avid Stallone fan that I was (and still am), hearing such news excited me, but considering I was only twelve at the time I had to wait impatiently for the VHS release instead of seeing it on the big screen. Using the last of my pocket money I purchased a copy from my local Woolworths store (I'm sounding old now, I know), rushed home, popped in the video, locked my bedroom door, and began watching, all in anticipation of some kick-arse action.

Stallone's cold demeanour in the first scene appealed to me immediately. As the rain heaved down somewhere out in the swamps, I was introduced to his character, Ray Rath, as he held a silenced-pistol to the head of some random scumbag, while his face remained expressionless. I began thinking something like "Great, this was going to be another tense, action opus, filled with plenty of suspense and genuine wit," (translate this into pre-adolescent speak if you must).

Meh. Imagine my disappointment when I witnessed how overlong and dull Assassins turned out to be in the general sense (when I say long I mean the film goes on for over two hours and ten mins, and when I say dull I mean a majority of the plot is concerned with two hitman out to retrieve a floppy disk that contains sensitive information). Seriously, I like to think I have a bit of patience, but the film (and, in particular, the ending) was so tedious that it gave me a headache. Even the action scenes were uninspiring.

I have attempted to watch the film a few times since I first purchased it on video all those years ago, but my opinion hasn't really altered since then. Assassins is not terrible, but it's hardly interesting, either. As much as I admire Stallone's action persona, he is so reserved in this picture that he almost seems non-existent. His younger opposite, Banderas, is obviously supposed to be a contrast to his character, but comes across cartoonish and completely irritating throughout. At least Julianne Moore gives a solid performance as the feisty red-headed surveillance expert and electronic thief "Electra", though.

To say Assassins was directed by Richard Donner (Lethal Weapon) and produced by legendary action filmmaker Joel Silver, I did expect more. The recycled formula and overlong running time wouldn't have bothered me quite so much if the action scenes were worth shouting about and the characters were interesting, but both aspects were less than satisfactory. Unfortunately, it would seem even the best cinema hitmen miss their mark every now and then.

(C) Andy Carrington, 2010.